ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
handjob tips. give me some.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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