so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
