I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We have started to decorate penises.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
