How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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