You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
