Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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