You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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