I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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