Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize