quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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