someone get that fucking seahorse.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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