You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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