Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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