my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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