My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
