I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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