Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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