i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
