I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
