The maid of honor just puked.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she peed on how many people?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
