Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you inspire me to be a worse person
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
