we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
