Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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