What did we do last night that was yellow?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
