I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
