It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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