no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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