pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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