I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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