my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
