gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You made out with two different species that night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
