my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
