it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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