Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
