They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
