what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
