After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
