You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just cropdusted the office
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
