So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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