can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Come share oat with me in your robe
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
