did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
