yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
