did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
