i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
