I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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