so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
