Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
