I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
