He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
