Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
