love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
