I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
