I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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