She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Randomize
