Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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