Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
