So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
