apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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