Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
