just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
