so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize