Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(270): View more from Kentucky

i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

Fav 25 1630 2484
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(708): View more from Illinois

you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

Fav 10 6007 976
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(516): View more from New York

We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.

Fav 9 6687 1356
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"

Fav 20 7274 1429
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.

Fav 11 3374 2125
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(619): View more from California

Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

Fav 13 2021 1629
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(720): View more from Colorado

July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.

Fav 1 1201 1696
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(402): View more from Nebraska

All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.

Fav 3 674 519
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.

Fav 0 33 6
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