he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
