Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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