You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
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Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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